Why Boys Are Falling Through the Cracks in Mental Health and What We Can Do About It
By Kincove Therapy | Adolescent Mental Health in Los Angeles
When we picture a teen struggling with anxiety or depression, many imagine a withdrawn girl, crying in her room or journaling her thoughts. But what about the boy who snaps at everyone at the dinner table, holes up in his room gaming for hours, or insists he's "fine" even though his grades are tanking?
The truth is, boys often show distress differently, and their struggles are frequently being overlooked.
The Quiet Crisis: What the Research Shows
Boys are less likely than girls to be diagnosed with depression or anxiety, not because they experience it less, but because their symptoms often look different.
While girls may internalize, boys often externalize their distress.
Instead of sadness, boys may show irritability, anger, or shutdown behaviors.
Many boys have learned from a young age that showing emotion is a weakness.
According to recent CDC data, teen boys are significantly less likely to receive mental health care even though they are at higher risk for suicide, substance use, and school disengagement.
Why Are Boys Falling Through the Cracks?
1. Stereotypes about Masculinity
Messages like "man up," "don't be weak," and "real men don't cry" start early. Many boys internalize the idea that talking about feelings is embarrassing or dangerous.
2. Subtle Symptoms Go Unnoticed
Parents and teachers may dismiss irritability or withdrawal as "normal teenage behavior." But underneath could be anxiety, depression, or trauma.
3. Help Isn't Always Designed for Them
Traditional talk therapy may feel awkward or irrelevant to some boys. Without the right fit, they may shut down or refuse to go back.
What We Can Do
At Kincove, we believe boys need mental health support tailored to how they experience the world. Here's what that can look like:
Brain-Based Support
Our use of evidence-based therapy, neurofeedback, and body-based tools helps boys understand what's happening in their brain and feel more in control without needing to talk about everything right away.
Relational Safety Over "Fixing"
Therapy is about connection first. We meet people where they are, whether through shared interests, humor, or movement-based interventions.
Parent Coaching
We work with parents to better understand their son's behaviors and develop strategies for support, communication, and boundary-setting at home.
Signs Your Son May Be Struggling (Even If He Says He's Fine)
Frequent irritability or anger
Withdrawing from family or friends
Trouble sleeping or excessive sleeping
Drop in grades or motivation
Expressing hopelessness or saying things like "what's the point?"
Getting Help
You don't need to wait until there's a crisis. Early intervention can change the course of a teen boy's life—emotionally, academically, and relationally.
If you're in the Los Angeles area and wondering whether your son might benefit from support, we're here to help. At Kincove, we offer individual therapy for teen boys, neurofeedback, and parent coaching, all grounded in science and compassion.
Serving Beverly Hills, West LA, and surrounding areas. For virtual services, we can see clients anywhere in California.
